Essay 4 Rough Draft

Essay 4

How does place shape Kiyoshi identity?

After reading “All I Asking For is My Body” I began to question was this story about a typical Japanese family or did circumstance make this family interact the way it did? According to Webster culture is the knowledge, values, goals, practices and beliefs shared by a society. Our culture uniquely shapes us into what we think we should be. Two things shaped Kiyoshi’s identity, being Japanese and living in Hawaii in the 1930’s and 40’s. Plantation life and family culture are important factors in understanding the context that makes “All I Asking For is My Body” relatable to today’s reader.
Plantation life on Hawaii involved working in the sugar fields. This was back breaking work in harsh conditions. The workers were in the fields six to seven days a week, 10 hours a day and where paid a very low wage. If they missed a day of work they were often required to work double that time to make up for it. Plantation life was very structured. A caste system was used to maintain plantation life. This is a system of social stratification; an important group identifier. Caste systems are used to segregate, discriminate and oppress the people in them. Sometimes groups within the caste system will discriminate against others groups; identifying them by their mode of speaking or dress, as with Makot’s family. The caste system was used to divide the camps, on the plantation, based on ethnic identity. This allowed the plantation boss to retain control. The companies owned the houses, the stores and ran the mess hall and the bathhouses. They provided the doctor, hospital, schools and even ran the railroad. Many plantations housed more than 3,000 people employing at least 1,000 of them. Working for low wages there was little left over after everyday things and it was impossible to get ahead.
When workers went on strike to get higher wages and better working conditions they were replaced by other immigrant groups. These groups were given a slightly higher wage as an incentive but, when the strikes were over the wages went back down. Farmers from Japan, allowed to migrate to Hawaii, were mostly members of the lower caste. They grabbed at the chance to better themselves, something not possible for them in Japan. Plantation life was not so different from the life they lived in Japan. Poverty and hard work was accepted and only surpassed by the high Japanese virtues of obligation, duty and loyalty. In this story when Mr. Snook, the eight grade teacher wanted the Japanese children to become less submissive he told them, “Freedom means being your own boss,” the children responded that “freedom means being a plantation boss.” (pg. 34)
The sugar plantation system affected life in Hawaii physically, politically and economically. With each wave of immigrants came new religions, new animals and plants, new cuisines and a plantation language known as pidgin or da`kine. With a better understanding of plantation life looking at Japanese culture will let us see if place or culture affected Kiyoshi’s identity more.
To understand the foundation of this story better let’s look at Japanese culture. Japanese people lived in an agricultural environment that was structured in the caste system. Born into their place in society it was almost impossible to change their status. Japanese families believed that the family unit is more important than the individual. Japanese people feel separated by their sense of uniqueness. They have a basic identity of race and culture that is distinct from others. Over centuries their interpersonal relationships have shaped their language, what actual words mean and their social manners. Ingrained into Japanese people is importance of not offending, disappointing or inconveniencing others. If this is done, even if there is a slight chance, it can cause shame and embarrassment. These things are to be avoided at all cost.
To gain further knowledge of Japanese people one must look into how important their religion is to them. Japanese people usually practice Buddhism and Confucianism. Buddhism introduced a mystical dimension that transcends the natural world into the Japanese way of life. It gives room for superstitions, the concept of luck, “saving face”, buying good fortune and belief in the afterlife. According to Wikipedia; the main idea of Confucianism is the cultivation of virtue and the development of moral perfection. It is a complex system of moral, social, political, philosophical and religious thought. Two of its main themes are “Filial Piety” the respect a child must show to their parents both living and dead and the concept of social harmony. Social harmony is the practice of everyone knowing their place in the social order and playing that part well. These religions also place an importance on education and hard work, stress order, emphasize loyalty and personal relationships and dictate standards of behavior.
Japanese people believe that a two parent household is preferable and that family responsibility takes precedence over everything else. The family decides the fate of the individual members. Kiyoshi’s father was the head of the family but it was his mother that influenced the children’s way of thinking. She had an obligation to her family this obligation was fulfilled through acquiescence and service. She installed certain values in her children. Values are the beliefs of a person or social group in which someone has a personal investment. As a part of Japanese culture superstitions are common and the idea of luck is an important part of their life. Japanese people believe that certain numbers are unlucky for example: 4 because it is also the word for death and 9 because it also is the word for suffering. They also believe that their luck is based on many things and that it can be actively changed.
In this story Kiyoshi’s mother used superstitions to teach her children lessons and to serve as a means of practical advice. She believed that “saving face” was important even if that meant pretending nothing was wrong. Kiyoshi’s mother used “saving face” as a way to control her family. To lose face was to risk exposure and shame. Kiyoshi’s mother told him repeatedly that poor families had to stay united and that to act on ones own was to be selfish. Her main concern was to keep the boys home until the family debt was paid off thus saving the families honor.
According to Japanese customs, the accepted or habitual practices followed by people of a particular group, family comes first. They believe in interdependence not independence. Interdependence stresses unspoken responsibilities inherent to acceptance and participation with-in the group. When the need arises the individual is expected to meet and honor these responsibilities. It is the duty of the children, particularly the sons to help support the family. Accepted norms for Japanese families during this time period were gender based, the father was the bread winner and the wife was responsible for the household, family life was not expected to interfere with the husbands’ life. Care for the aged was the families’ responsibility and the family determined its individuals life chances. These norms were present in Kiyoshi’s family. One more and especially important norm the Oyama family observed was the preserving of the family household resources that were to be handed down to the next generation, including all debts.
After looking at the Japanese culture that was present at the time of this story it is easier to see that Kiyoshi was living the life his family expected him to. It was his cultural duty to help the family as a whole, to share in the weight of the debt owed and to work to pay it off. If not Hawaii he would have been in the same situation in Japan. The working of the land was their way of life; the debt was the entire families until it was paid. Growing up Kiyoshi questions his parents, as children do, about why he couldn’t play with certain children, why he couldn’t stay in school and why his older brother couldn’t do what he wanted to with his life. He also understood his duty to the family and accepted, in a typical teenage way that he would do what the family needed. Kiyoshi loved his family.
When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor Kiyoshi questioned his values. Why had it been a sneak attack? He grew afraid that his loyalty would be questioned. This was a time when the importance of duty and “saving face” installed in him by his mother came into play with his individual character. Volunteering to go to war meant that he had earned the right to complain about his situation and participate in changing it. He had earned the right to a future. This might seem like an individual choice but it was also a choice that showed Japanese loyalty to the United States as a whole, for his group. However, with him he carried his family obligation the debt. When he found a way to pay the family debt I feel he turned his luck around. The irony of it all is that he had to go to war to do so.
With the information given about plantation life in Hawaii during this time period and a new understanding of Japanese culture it is easier to reconcile the story of Kiyoshi and his family. To not look at the fact that the children had to work to pay off a debt that was not theirs. The debt belonged to the family. Yes they lived in poverty and yes the children questioned their parent’s beliefs but so do many children today. “All I Asking For is My Body” is about family and culture, commitment and duty. It is a story that today’s reader can relate too.

All I Asking For is My Body, Part III, Dialogue

Week 16
All I Asking for My Body Dialogue


I liked the ending to the story. After all the sacrificing for family Kiyochan takes a step for himself when he volunteers to go to war. He sees it as the only way he will ever have any freedom. For him to then manufacture his own good luck by figuring out the odds with craps and win seems highly unlikely. However true to form he then sends the money home to pay off the family debt.
This debt started before his birth and grew out of family necessity. It consumed his mother, made his father feel like a failure and changed his brother’s life. These children were at the mercy of the plantation way of life. A life they could not change but had to accept. Their only other choice seemed to be no life at all. They were born into poverty and struggled just to “keep face” it was the fate of the entire family. There was no escape no way out. On page 88 of the text Kiyochan says, “It was like a prison term” he is referring to his plantation life. The cycle he and many others were caught up in. He was working for $2 a day, 6 days a week, eight hours a day and had nothing to show for it. I liked that at the end of the story he seemed to be escaping in some ways the irony of it was that escape he had to volunteer to go to war.

All I Asking For is My Body, Part II Dialogue

Week 15 dialogue
All I Asking For is My Body Part II


Kiyoshi’s mother has been ill before and now she is ill again. This makes Kiyoshi worry. While his father goes out fishing it is Kiyoshi’s job to look after his mother and the younger children. He has an older brother, but this is his job. Kiyoshi gets Obaban for his mother when she is doing poorly. Obaban tends to his mother and seems to be the only one who can lift her spirits. Kiyoshi’s mother is very superstitious and tells him how she is the one who brings bad luck to their family. She says that she feels she will die young. She also tells Kiyoshi that you could be punished if a close relative had done something bad, she could be a substitute and that might be why she feels so ill.
Obaban explains the concept of bachi to Kiyoshi. It is the punishment for doing something bad and getting away with it. She tells him that if his mother can find a substitute for her bad luck she might be freed from it. Soon after she visits Kiyoshi's mother Obaban dies and they all go to the service. Afterward Kiyoshi’s mother seems to feel better so Kiyoshi thinks that maybe Obaban was her substitute and now his own mother will be spared. While he did not want Obaban to die he wants his mother to live more.

Rules for Writers Chapter 37

Rules for Writers
Chapter 37: Quotation marks.

Quotation marks are another area where grammar checkers are not always helpful. Quotation marks are needed to enclose a direct quote. A writer can also set off a long quotation, for example poetry by indenting. Quotation marks are used around titles of short works, newspaper and magazine articles, poems, short stories, and songs, episodes of television and radio programs and chapters or subdivisions of books.
When using quotation marks periods and commas are placed inside the quotation marks as are colons, semicolons, questions marks and exclamation points.
After a formal quote is introduced a colon is appropriate. If a quotation is introduced by he said or she said or if it is at the beginning of a sentence a comma is needed.
Common misuses of quotation marks to be avoided include using them to draw attention to slang, indirect quotations or the title of your own essay.
Grammar and punctuation can turn a reader off when used incorrectly; your point can be lost entirely this way. These are things I still struggle with my writing.

All I Asking For is My Body Part I Dialouge

Makot is a boy who has to buy friendship. He has been made fun of by the boys his own age and so he befriends the younger boys. To help assure that they will be his friends he buys them treats and takes them to the movies. Makot also takes them to his house when his parents are not home and shares food with them. When the younger boys do not give in to his way of thinking Makot pouts until they do. He withholds the favors he gives them unless they go along with what he wants.
In the story Makot’s family is the only Japanese family that lives in the Filipino camp. His parents are not like the boys parents that he plays with. Makot’s father owned a Model T unlike any of the other Japanese dads and does not appear to work. He also never spoke to the children. Makot’s mother dressed in a kimono and wore white powder on her face and red paint on her cheeks. His mother worked all the time. Makot’s friend’s families will not say what is different about Makot’s family but they don’t want their children playing with him.
I think Makot brought his friends home when his parents were not home because he did not want them to meet. When Kiyoshi went to Makot’s house Makot pushed his mother inside not wanting her to talk to his friend. It was as if he was hiding something or was ashamed of his parents. I felt that he was somewhat of a bully to the younger boys. Maybe it was because of the way the older boys treated him. I did not feel sad for him he was able to use the younger boys to get what he needed.

Veterans Day

Veterans Day I am so proud of my dad and all the men and women who haved served, will serve and are serving to keep us free. This is a day for saying "Thank You" no matter how we feel about wars. Many of us have shared about our families in our writing so I wanted to share this with you too.

Essay Workshop 3

Smoke Signals Essay 3

To forgive someone is the process of letting go of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake they have made without demanding punishment or restitution. We are taught as children to ask for forgiveness and to forgive those who have harmed us. It’s only when we forgive that we are able to receive forgiveness from ourselves and others. The question is who do we forgive and for what offenses? In “Smoke Signals” Victor travels a path to forgiveness. This path is filled with memories, regrets, realizations and forgiveness.
Memories are tricky things. They are colored by our perception of what occurred, what other people tell us happened and can change over time. Victor’s memories of his early childhood have shaped him into a young man filled with anger and a sense of being treated unfairly. As the story unfolds we find that Victor and Thomas remember their childhood differently. As Thomas and Victor start their journey Victor is filled with memories of his father. Thomas serves as a catalyst, sharing his own version of what he remembers. One of Victor’s first memories is of the fire that took the lives of Thomas’s parents. Thomas sees Victors father as the man who saved him, but Victor sees his father as the man that did not come back for him. It was after the fire that Victor remembers his father changing; he cut his hair and began leaving a little each day.
As the story unfolds Victor begins to remember things, snap shots of his childhood. One of these was a time he shared with his father laughing and teasing that ended with his father hitting him after he spilled beer in the truck. Another was the morning after watching his father and mother drinking when he threw all the remaining beer bottles at his father’s truck. As a young child Victor was fighting against the affects that living with a drinker can have on a child. He was losing faith in his father and becoming withdrawn.
Hurtful words can fill us with regret when we lose someone close to us. Words that are easily said in anger may linger for years causing family members to not bond with one another. Words are powerful things and can sometimes hurt us more than any physical injury. When a child lives with a parent or parents that have a drinking problem they see good times and bad times. Not knowing what to expect at any given time makes them become guarded. One memory that Victor had was of his father asking him who he looked up to. Victor did not answer, thus hurting not only his father but himself. When Victor’s father left the family, although disillusioned, his son pleaded with him not to go.
As the boys travel together Thomas reminds Victor that his father had been leaving for a long time, that he had wanted to disappear long before he actually drove away. As Victor grew older I think that he regretted not doing more with his father. He had let his anger over his father not saving him, but saving Thomas during the fire when they were children, interfere with their relationship. This perceived injustice became Victor’s way of dealing with the feelings he had for his father.
While he headed toward his fathers last residence Victor begins to realize that he has let his family situation color the way he looks at life. Growing up on the reservation where poverty and isolation was an everyday fact of life Victor had become hardened. He told Thomas that Indians needed to be stoic. That they needed to dress a certain way, wear their hair long and loose and look mean so that the white man would respect them. Victor’s mother was a giving woman who accepted help learned from others. After his father left she quit drinking and devoted herself to giving her son a better life. Thomas told Victor that he was unapproachable and that he had cut himself off from his mother long before they started the journey. When the boys started their trip Victor’s mother made him promise to come back to her. It was as if she agreed with Thomas.
After meeting Suzy Victor begins to have some insight into his father’s life. He discovered that his father regretted leaving his family and that he always intended to come back. Suzy told Victor that his father quit drinking and that he was a good and caring friend to her. Victor’s father had told her stories about his son always portraying him as a bigger character then he was. He was proud of his son. Suzy tells Victor that his father told her he had started the fire that took the lives of Thomas’s parents and it was the guilt over that that had made him drink more and leave his family. Suzy encourages Victor to look through his father’s trailer and find closure. When Victor finds an old family photo that his father kept with the word Home written on the back he cuts his own hair out of respect for his father, following the traditions of his culture, and burns down the trailer. Victor realizes that his father loved him and that it was not his fault that he left.
Smoke Signals is a story about the journey that Victor goes on which is filled with memories, regrets, realizations and forgiveness. The road trip that Victor and Thomas went on was a symbolic trip into Victors past. Thomas was a storyteller and through his stories he helped Victor reach out for memories of his father, who he was and what he meant to his son. To forgive an injustice we feel has been done to us is not an easy thing to do. It is, how ever something we need to do more for ourselves then for others. In Smoke Signals Victor needs to forgive his father for not being the one who saved him from the fire, for drinking too much, for hitting him and for leaving. When he is able to let these things go Victor remembers how much he loved his father and that he was loved in return.
With this journey Victor takes the first steps into a new part of his life releasing those old thoughts and hurts that he had carried with him for years. Victor finds the father he longed for and the ability to accept that he could not change things that happened when he was a child. As the journey ends Victor remembers his father, the good and bad things that happened in his childhood and he begins to understand his path. As he releases his father’s ashes into the river he also releases his anger and embraces his loss. At the end of the story Thomas ask, “when do we forgive our fathers and for what.” For Victor to forgive his father and to try to understand the man he was, gave him the opportunity to open his heart and live his own life.

Writing About Film

Writing about Film

When viewing a film we need to remind ourselves to be active listeners not passive. When professors ask you to view a film you need to take note of the way the camera moves, the composition within the frames and how the film was edited. The question to ask is how do these things function together? When looking at film you need to ask yourself when it was made, how it was made and by whom. When writing about a film it is important to remember you are not writing a review.
There are different kinds of papers written about films. They include a formal analysis; breaking the film down into parts and discussing them, a film history paper; a historical type document, ideological film papers; films that promote some set of beliefs and cultural studies or national cinemas papers; films that reflect cultures and nations.
There are steps to take when you are writing about film, first you view the film and observe its content and features. Second taking notes or annotating scenes helps you keep track of the sequence of the film. Some questions to ask yourself might include who made the film, what is the production history of the film, what can you learn from the films genre, does the film reflect a culture and what do critics say about the film?
When you begin to write about the film it is important to have a strong thesis statement, to have clear paragraphs which support your thesis and to check your grammar. If you use sources it is important to cite them correctly. Some things to avoid when writing about a film are just summarizing the film, just looking at camera angles or editing techniques, limiting your discussion of the plot and characters and using “I” to much.

"This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona" dialogue

"This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona"

In this story Thomas and Victor are older; their characters are more defined and not as likeable.
Thomas is described as a storyteller no one wants to listen to. In the film the girls and Suzy asked him for a story and seem to enjoy listening to him. The story Thomas told about the fire and Victor’s father saving him was also left out and I feel this took away from the discovery of the story that unfolded in the film.
In this version of the story Victor seems less self assured he says he wants to be a warrior, in the film he was all about what it took to be Indian, in his mind at least.
In the film version Victor and Thomas met Suzy, she was a vital part of the story filling in some of the missing pieces of the puzzle that was Victors life. In this story Victor is willing to go into the trailer and look through his fathers belongings, in the film this was a traumatic point for him, a struggle. Victor’s memories were bittersweet and kept him from moving forward.
In this story there is no fire, no saving of Thomas by Victor’s father and no retelling of Victor’s fathers leaving. For me there is no real connection between Victor and Thomas. These three main characters seemed flat, one dimensional at best. Film was, in my opinion, a much better medium for the telling of this story. The film ending was also different. The questions poised by Thomas and the emotions shared by Victor gave the story meaning and a sense of closure. I feel the film gave the story much more credibility and as an avid reader I usually feel print fills in the details that make a story more credible.

Smoke Signals the movie Dialogue

Smoke Signals, the movie dialogue

I really liked this movie the images of the poverty on the reservation, the scenery and the trailer where Victor’s father lived brought the story to life.
Victor and Thomas had a unique relationship almost family like, not quite friends they were joined together by tribal kinship and tragedy. When Victor’s father saved Thomas from the fire it brought the families closer. Living on the reservation there was a connection between the boys even though they seemed to be opposites.
Victor was rough and assertive while Thomas was more scholarly. Thomas seemed to be wise for his years, a storyteller and a deep thinker. Victor seems more quick tempered and rough around the edges. The boys were bound together from childhood and at the end of the story Victor seemed to learn a powerful lesson from Thomas, forgiveness.
They had a tolerance for each other and a give and take that was mutual. Victor and Thomas would not have seemed likely candidates for friendship but they were true friends. Each of them was true to who they where while being there for each other.

Writing Topic Chapter TBD(32-33)

Rules for Writers Chapter 32/33 Punctuation (commas)

I have trouble with punctuation so that is why I picked these two chapters. Commas are a pet peeve of mine.
Comas were invented to help readers. They are used to prevent confusion. Commas should be used before a coordinating conjunction joining independent causes, after an introductory clause or phrase and between all items in a series. Grammar checkers do not always flag missing or misused commas so knowing where they belong is important.
A comma is used between coordinate adjectives not joined with and. You do not need a comma between cumulative adjectives. Commas are used to set off non restrictive elements, transitional and parenthetical expressions, absolute phrases and elements expressing contrast. Commas are used with dates, addresses, titles and numbers. They are also used to set off direct quotations.
Often writers use unnecessary commas, because they don’t know the grammar rules. Commas are not needed before the first or after the last item in a series; they are not needed between cumulative adjectives, between an adjective and a noun, or between an adverb and an adjective. Commas are not used to set off restrictive elements or separate a verb verb form its subject or object. Other places where commas are not used are after a coordinating conjunction, after such as like, before than, after although, before a parenthesis, to set off an indirect quotation or with a question mark or exclamation point.
There are many rules involved with the use or non use of commas, for me they are confusing so this text will be a valuable tool with my writing.

"Happy Endings", "Obituary" and "Oompah Loompah"

“Happy Endings”

Lovey is a little girl who wants to be just like Shirley Temple with blond curls, pink cheeks, pouting lips, bright eyes, just perfect in Lovey’s eyes. She could not be so different than Shirley in her own mind. Lovey feels Shirley is the perfect, most acceptable little girl, she has ever seen. In “Happy Endings” Lovey is a little girl who likes happy endings. She has a very active imagination. Lovey and Jerry are friends who imagine things together, things that involve the TV shows they watch. On the “The Checkers and Pogo Show” Lovey really likes the “Merry Unbirthday” celebration where the child picked got to keep handfuls of pennies. Even though the children knew that that wasn’t a lot of money they thought to be picked would be exciting. Jerry and Lovey liked to pretend they were part of the show, Lovey really wanted to go to the show for real and be the unbirthday child. Jerry and Lovey believed in happy endings to the stories they played.
Shirley Temple movies were on TV during this time period and Love enjoyed watching them. She liked the way Shirley Temple “sob-talked”. Lovey felt that to have real happy endings to your stories you needed someone to watch you cry over them. Lovey thought Shirley was the best crier ever.

Writing Topic: Rules for Writers Chapter 48

Chapter # 48
Evaluating Arguments Summary

To start evaluating arguments you need to distinguish between true and false tactics. These include fallacies, generalizations and stereotyping. Using inductive reasoning ask yourself is the evidence sufficient, is it representative and is it relevant? After considering these things you should be able to reach a probable truth. For the writer inductive reasoning includes drawing analogies, tracing cause and effect, weighing options and sometimes making assumptions.
Deductive reasoning can also be structured into an argument. This involves three steps the major premise, the minor premise and the conclusion. When making an argument the writer must make decisions between making a legitimate appeal or an unfair emotional appeal.
The way the writer deals with opposing views lets the readers in on who they are as a writer. Describing the views of others can weaken them or strengthen them; a good writer can just state the view given factually. Quoting opposing views must be kept to the facts, to keep some level of fairness and accuracy. When quoting a writer you should not paraphrase.
I had not realized that you should state the opposing views when writing a paper. The information about trying to answer questions your opposing audience may bring up is also helpful.

Rules for Writers Chapter 47

Chapter 47 Rules for Writers
Constructing Reasonable Arguments

Writing an argument means taking a stand on a debatable issue. The goal is to explain and support your point of view, not to win or have the last word. Your readers will examine your point of view, look at your support and decide if you are right or wrong. Sometimes your readers may share your interest, sometimes not. You will need to use you introduction to establish your credibility, state your position and if possible build common ground with your audience. Building common ground by sharing your audience’s concerns help them to acknowledge your arguments point.
Your next step is to support your view with specific evidence; you can use facts and statistics, examples and illustrations and site expert opinions. Do not expect your audience to agree with you. You need to anticipate objections and be able to explain them accurately and fairly.
When evaluating arguments you need to be logical and fair. Some pitfalls to be aware of include generalizations, false analogies and stereotyping.
I have not written to many papers which are arguments. I find it hard to hold my ground in a conversation, this is a big task for me so writing an argument paper may be challenging. However, with a firm point of view and proper support I think I can learn to write this type of paper. I felt the section about seeing both sides and addressing objections helpful.

Writing about fiction

Writing about fiction:

When reading fiction you need to look for interwoven meaning and the complexity of the theme. Several methods can be used to track fiction these include highlighting, using the margin for notes, keeping a notebook about questions and main points and looking back over the reading. These techniques can help you when you start your summary.
When writing a summary you need to not just retell the story or over generalize it. To develop a thesis about fiction you need to read the information carefully. Choose an idea that can be supported by the material.
Drafting your essay is a process. When starting a draft the writer can use a number of helpful techniques these include free writing about the material, reviewing what you have read to identify important evidence, researching what others think about your topic and evaluating the materials you have gathered.
Quoting, to make a particular point and paraphrasing in your introduction and conclusion are additional techniques writers use.
I liked the points made about the complexities of fiction. The plots are often interwoven and it is important to makes notes about the different characters so that you can fully understand who they are and their relationship to the whole work.

Writing Topic Summary for Writing About Literature

Literature Summary

Writing a paper is usually about making an argument for or against something. Your thesis statement needs to be specific and debatable. The paper that follows has to give evidence that supports your thesis with examples that make your side of the argument. If you are using quotes it is important to explain the quote and show how it relates to your thesis.
Picking a topic is an important part of writing a paper, as is the research. When doing research the internet and the library are good resources. These are places to start but, your thoughts on the topic are the most important part of any paper you write. The other resources are gathered to support and back your thoughts up.
For research papers the MLA format is used. This is the universal citation method for the field of literary studies. I have used the MLA format but, always need to revisit the information pages provided before I start.
I think the points made in this article, about making an argument and the debatable thesis statement, will be helpful to me in my writing. Gathering sources for a paper can be hard, there is so much information out there. Finding specific material that supports your thesis is time consuming. I think I will be able to use some of the tips given.

Essay 2 Rough Draft

Essay 2 rough draft
“Shooting Dad”

Family, how do you describe it? Family is sometimes defined as a social group in society typically consisting of one or two people and their children who share goals and values, have a long-term commitment to one another and dwell under the same roof. The definition of family changes from culture to culture and for each individual. I believe family either makes you or breaks you; it is the ultimate experience. In “Shooting Dad” Sarah is shaped by her family. Family shapes who we are as children and lets us decide who we want to be when we grow up. In the story “Shooting Dad” Sarah is influenced by where she grows up, the type of parenting her family used, family traits and her own individuality. I feel a kind of kinship with Sarah.
Living first in rural Oklahoma as a young child surrounded by woods, Sarah grew up in an area where the right to own firearms was valued. Her father was a gunsmith and a hunter. When at the age of 11 her family moved to Bozeman, Montana Sarah experienced living in a quiet residential area for the first time. However, guns were still a large part of her day to day life. I grew up in a home on a quiet residential street as did Sarah but, this is where the similarity ended. My sisters and I never saw a gun; my father was military but, never spoke to us about guns or war. For Sarah and her family the move to Bozeman was a time of transition. It took time for them to adjust, at first when Sarah’s father heard a noise in the yard he grabbed his gun and went to see what was there. Seeing crows old habits took over and he wanted to shoot them. When his wife reminded him where they lived he shared his confusion about the change, “Why shooting crows is a national past time, like baseball and apple pie.” For Sarah this was a turning point she was happy to see her father unable to shoot his gun off the front porch.
Sarah was brought up to express herself. Her parents had been raised in a strict structured environment and wanted their children to be able to make choices for themselves. Sarah’s father did not back down from his beliefs which lead to loud disagreements which strengthen Sarah’s beliefs and gave her the voice to express them. I was raised in the structured environment of a small town where girls had two options, go to college or get married. My sisters and I were expected to follow traditional roles for women, our mother taught us to cook, clean, sew and take care of children. Not fitting into the mold was an uphill battle, especially when I took a stand that it was wrong for the United States military to be at war in Viet Nam. I would have given anything to be raised more like Sarah, so that my differences did not seem like disappointments. The connection between father and daughter after listening to the audio version of the story seemed high spirited and filled with good natured differences. Able to express her own views Sarah felt free to take a different stand than her father. He supported the right to own and use guns, she did not. Her father supported one political party she chose another. Growing up Sarah felt that they were totally different but, the differences between father and daughter truly supported similarities in their natures.
Sarah’s father was extremely talented. His work room was filled with blueprints of his inventions, scrapes of metal and other materials related to his work and trophies from his hunting trips. Sarah’s music room was filled with instruments and paper for writing music topped off by a portrait of a French composer, she was developing her own talent. For each of them these were their spaces, their domains she stated, that they “were jealously guarded totalitarian states in which each of us declared ourselves dictator.” Sarah saw herself as different from her father, an opponent, not yet seeing the similarities that would connect them. My domain was my bedroom, an ordered space where I read books and tried to write, a place to be just me. For my father it was a space in the garage where he did leather work, his work space was very organized, everything had a place and was returned to that place after it was used. These were our domains where we spent time alone not understanding the importance of the creative work the other was doing.
As we, the children of the family, grow older we begin to see the value in our parents and their talents. For Sarah it was the fact that she wanted to form a better relationship with her father that lead her to look into his passion, guns. On her quest to become a better daughter she decided to, “Figure out the whole gun thing.” For myself it was trying to understand my fathers need to work quietly in an ordered room, a trait I find I have grown to value, that lead me to finding a way to encourage him to talk about the experiences he had during his military service. As Sarah, and I looked into our fathers interests we both began to see there value. Perhaps we were not so different than our fathers. As Sarah began to understand the reasons that led her father to build the cannon she found that although her father was obsessed with firearms he also valued “American history and family history, subjects he’s never bothered separating.” I found that my father valued the simplicity of leather working because; the end product was predictable and could be completed. Things that I came to understand were not always possible in the military. When Sarah realized that her father had spent 2 years working on the cannon, investing in the history of it, before it was ready to shoot she felt the importance of being with her father to record this big event in his life and found she liked being on his side. The shooting of the cannon showed Sarah how, although she still did not like guns, she was proud of her father and could allow herself the enjoyment of shooting it off with him.
We are shaped by our families, the environments we grow up in, the structure or lack of it the adults in our lives give us, the differences and similarities we share with those adults and who we each are. Family, for most of us, is as important as breathing. It is something we cherish more as we grow older and something we are willing to make allowances for. In “Shooting Dad” Sarah grew to accept that she shared many things with her father. When the reader hears the audio version of the story they feel the affection Sarah has for her father, it is clear. Her description of her home, her space upstairs and his downstairs, their different views and political parties, his involvement with guns and her lack of that involvement seem less a division and more a way of connecting. Sarah and her dad were artistic, eccentric, passionate, opinionated and strong. They each thought loud noises were cool and had weird equipment that helped define who they were. Sarah will follow her father’s wishes, shooting his ashes out of his cannon on the opening day of hunting season, when the time comes. Although she still does not like guns. Over the years I have come to respect my father’s loyalty to the military. I too will follow his wishes and see that he get the military burial he has requested when the time comes, even though I am not sure I believe in “the military way of things” as he does.

Chapter 4 Summary

Week 7
Writing Topic: Rules for Writers Chapter 4


Paragraphs build the body of your paper they contain the information needed to support the thesis. Each paragraph needs to have a main point; this main point is found in the topic sentence. In business as well as college writing the topic sentences are used to clarify what you are trying to present, this is important for people who are scanning for information. In developing the main point the writer needs it to be clear and easy to find. As writers we organize our papers in different patterns. Our writing takes the form of narration: telling a story, description; sketching a image of a person, place or thing, process; structuring a paper in chronological order, comparison and contrast; detailing similarities and differences, analogy; drawing comparisons between items which appear to have little in common, cause and effect, definition and classification and division; grouping items into categories or dividing items into parts.
When writing paragraphs you want to link the ideas clearly and have the sentences flow from one to another. Your point of view needs to remain consistent and repeating key words is an important technique to refine. Transitions are used to make stronger connections between your paragraphs for the reader. Paragraph writing is an important skill to develop. As a writer you need to be aware of the length of your paragraphs, the reasons for combining paragraphs and the reasons for starting new ones.
In my own writing I always thought that each paragraph just needed to follow a point made in the thesis statement. Now after reading this chapter I realize that that is only one step in the process.

"Shooting Dad" Dialogue

“Shooting Dad” Dialogue

I really liked this story. It shows how differences in a family, large or small, make for interesting telling. Sarah tells the story of how she was different than her twin sister and her dad. She took a stand against guns, something that shaped her fathers life. After years of disagreeing with her father about guns Sarah decides to try and understand her father and his love of guns. What she finds is that they are not so different after all. The thing that brought her to this realization was the cannon her father built. After two years, when it was finished, she decided to go home and be with her father when he shot it off. After the experience Sarah comes to the realization that, "Oh. My. God. My dad and I are the same person. We’re both smart-alecky loners with goofy projects and weird equipment.” Although she does not change her mind about guns, well maybe the cannon, Sarah has a new appreciation for her dad and the things he creates.
The significance of the title “Shooting Dad” comes at the end of the story when Sarah’s dad tells her that when he dies he wants his ashes shot out of the cannon on the opening day of hunting season. Sarah with her new found understanding agrees to do so.

"Coming Home Again" Dialogue

“Coming Home Again” Dialogue

This is a heartfelt story written by a son about his mother. Although Chang-rae Lee’s mother wanted him to go away to boarding school so he could advance his education and experience new things, she missed him deeply. He was her first born and they had a special connection. When Chang-rae reached his teenage years he began, like so many teenagers, to out grow his family and their ways of doing things. His mother’s behavior, her almost submissive ways, began to irritate him and caused him to be angry with her. After going to boarding school Chang-rae missed his family and realized their importance in his life. His mother however, felt he was out growing her. Perhaps she felt he would think less of her. Their common ground was food, the things he watched her cook and would latter cook for her. These were traditional dishes that she cooked for each of his home comings.
As her illness took over the families lives Chang-rae’s mother began to wish she had not sent him away to boarding school. She said, “Yes. I made a big mistake. You should be with us for that time.” Chang-rae would have probably gone away at some point as he grew older but, when we realize our time is going to be cut short with someone we regret time not spent. I feel that is why his mother thought sending him to school was a mistake. For many of us who face losing a loved one to illness the time we didn’t take because, we thought we had plenty of it becomes so precious. For Chang-rae’s mother I think that loss of time with her son became a reality as her life was drawing to an end.

Rules for Writers Chapter 3 Summary

Week 6
Writing Topic: Rules for Writers chapter 3


Revising your essay involves looking at grammar and sentence structure as well as the focus, purpose and over all content of the paper. After reading your rough draft you may decide to restructure or completely delete paragraphs that hinder the focus of your thesis. Sometimes you will decide to change the thesis to fit the information you want to present. This is what revising is all about. During this process questions you may want to ask yourself include; is the focus of the paper clear, are the ideas presented in a logical clear manner, is the material relevant and persuasive and does the draft offer just one point of view?
When revising you need to edit your work carefully. Grammar checkers help but, you have to make decisions on grammatical structure. Proof reading is the final step, I proofread out loud like I am presenting to an audience. Just hearing a sentence or whole paragraph out loud can often help me realize what needs to be changed. I have also tried reading the paragraphs from the conclusion backward to see if they still make sense. I liked the example essay they used. It held helpful tips on how to revise an informational essay.
Looking at the structure of revising will help me when I write. Too often I worry about grammar and sentence structure when I am doing a rough draft. The lesson for me to learn is that a rough draft is meant to be just that. I need to remember to just use this time to get my thoughts down on paper and then revise.

Summary Rules for Writers Chapter 2

Rules for Writing: Chapter 2 Drafting


A rough draft is a time for ideas and organization. You will need to identify what the thesis of your paper is and include it in your introduction. Usually a thesis is composed in one sentence. The thesis may be easier to construct after you have formulated the main body of your paper. However, it is always important to remember that you need a hook to draw in your audience. Do not assume that they will be interested in the topic. This hook should be your thesis sentence. It is your job as the writer to catch and keep the audiences attention. An effective thesis needs supporting evidence. Collect sources to support the purpose you have identified, making sure you will have enough documentation or you may have to redefine your thesis. Using techniques, one example is blue printing, gives the writer organizational skills so that you are able to write in a way that lets the reader know where the paper is heading. There is a fine line between statements which are too vague or to factual. The body of the paper can be constructed around a preliminary outline which will help you to block out your paragraphs. It is possible during the rough draft that you may exclude some of the ideas you gathered in making your outline, some of your other ideas may stand out as vocal points just needing clarification. It is important to include material that will help your readers follow your train of thought. The conclusion to your paper can be short. It needs to reinforce your main points but, not restate them. It can also be used to give the reader additional information on the subject to consider.
As a writer the points made in the chapter remind me to stay in touch with the critical parts of a paper. The thesis is so important and the body of the paper needs to fill in the necessary information to support it. I need to remember to stick to the point I am trying to make and not add so much additional information that it gets lost in the print.

Essay 1 Rough Draft

Image Essay


Football is a national past time. It is portrayed in almost every medium. I would not consider myself a football fan and this is not a football story. I look at this picture of two of my grandsons, Austin who is eleven and Bailey who is nine and I see hope for the future. Yes they are good looking boys but, to see them on the football field together means so much more to me. When I look at this picture I see a second generation of a family brought back together by hope, faith and love. For me football is a story about family, friendship, hardship, grief and renewed hope. For you to understand what this picture means to me we will need to go back to the beginning.
I was born and raised in Napa, a military family of four girls, we did not watch football. In 1975 I took a vacation to see the Redwoods. While there I met my husband we were married later that year. At the time he had a five year old son, Dan, and I had a one year old son Morgan. Over the next four years my husband and I added two more sons to our family, James and Stephen. My husband was an avid Cowboys fan and the boys grew up exposed to sports of all types especially football. I was the mother of in a household of five males. I used the time they watched football with their father to pursue other interests. We lived in McKinleyville which is located in Humboldt County. McKinleyville was a small town; it was by passed by Highway 101 and was not considered a tourist stop. When I moved there there were only two traffic lights, no large stores or fast food chains where built until the mid 80’s. We lived on the main street of town and it was common to watch horses being ridden down the street as well as cars. Everyone knew each other. Children went to the same schools as their siblings and their friends advanced year to year with them. As a stay at home mom our home was often the stopping point after school for those boys who had working moms.
When my boys were teenagers three of them became part of the towns’ high school football team. Even before school resumed for the year practice started. Practice consumed many hours of the days leading up to school starting and continued to fill their afternoon hours. Our home revolved around their schedules, playbooks and strategy meetings. These practices cumulated into Friday night games, homecoming parades and numerous celebrations. It did not matter so much if they won or lost it was football a time of bonding. It was a time to give it your all, to come off the field covered with dirt and grime, and to learn rules that would continue to guide their lives forever. Friendships were formed that would last many years. To be on the team and wear the letterman jackets was a big thing in our small town. They were a group looked up to by other students. One for all and all for one during the fall of the year there was nothing better than being a part of the team.
It was during this time that my husband grew ill. He struggled for many years but, was able to attend many of their home games. As his health worsened it was not unusual for a group of boys to come home with my sons after games and fill him in on all the details. In 1998 my husband passed away. This was a hard time for us. My youngest son, Stephen was just eighteen and planning his wedding. His older brother Morgan, my middle son was expecting his first child. The family was crushed we did not know how to continue with our lives. My oldest son Dan pulled away from the family. He was angry and expressed that he never felt like part of our family, he felt as if he was an outsider. I had no idea he had these types of feelings, I had always felt like his mother in every way. Hurt and confused I let him slip away. Soon after he divorced his wife, left his family and remarried. Dan stopped communicating with us all, including his children from his first marriage. It was at this time that his son Bailey was born.
The family did not see much of Bailey or Dan. As families do in times of stress we grouped together and went on. Attempts to include Dan or even communicate with him were filled with confrontation and anger. Things were said that created big wholes in our family. Things which can be forgiven but, are much harder to forget. It was as if losing my husband, their father broke the link that joined us together as a family. Thinking there would be time for things to change attempts for a reconnection grew few and far between. Holidays and birthdays became cards we exchanged with Dan not celebrations we shared. Phone calls were rare and often strained, no one wanting to step on the others toes. In 2008 my son Dan ended his life. Words could not convey the way we felt as a family. The time we were sure we had plenty of ran out. Feelings ran high regret because we thought we had more time, guilt for not reaching out, sorrow because nothing could change the fact that he was gone. For me there was also the fact that I had promised his father that I would keep Dan close to his family. I had failed.
Slowly as a family we began to regroup. Kristen, Baileys mother wanted him to know his fathers family. There was hope a hand reached our even hesitantly is a chance for a new beginning. Slowly we began to communicate, not talking about the past but, all acknowledging our part in the past. Words can not be unsaid and what has happened in the past is done the lesson here was to move forward as a family. My son James encouraged his brother Stephen, who never played group sports after the age of ten to coach youth football last year. This year Austin is on James’s Arcata team and Bailey is on Stephen’s Eureka team. Dan and Stephen never had a chance to repair the damage done to their relationship as brothers by now Stephen has a real chance to build a relationship with Bailey his brothers’ son.
This picture of the boys at their football jamboree fills me with hope, pride and love. It reminds me of the growth of our family, through childhood, the loss of my husband and how it affected us all, the senseless death of my son and the rebuilding of our family. It is a testament that life can change at any second and to the fact that if we are lucky for every ending there is a new beginning. Here are two boys on different teams bonding over the sport of football. This picture brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. It reminds me that for any ending there is a beginning if we are lucky enough to find it. For a lot of children football helps them to learn to be part of a team. An important lesson because, life is much more fulfilling played is a team game.

Writing Topic Summary Chapter 1

Writing Topic Summary Rules for Writers: Chapter 1

Writing is a process that starts with picking a subject, researching, writing a draft and revising until you get a final product. There are many steps to the writing process. The most important part can be picking a subject, often this will be provided for you. You will then need to decide which questions you want to explore, look at the sources you have for information and what kind of documentation is needed. You will need to review the purpose for your writing, for example is it to inform the reader, to entertain them or to argue a point? Is this information for academic audiences or for business audiences? Consideration also must be given to length and document design and deadlines. When exploring a subject you can use different techniques. Listening and talking is one that can be enhanced by taking notes and clustering highlights. Writers also use freewriting and journaling to formulate ideas.
As you begin writing you will want to formulate a thesis. This is often where I get in the most trouble. A thesis will usually answer a question, solve a problem you are writing about or make a statement on a position you are taking. With the thesis formulated you can then use an outline to organize your thoughts. Breaking down your writing in outline form is helpful; it lets you generate topic sentences and main points for each paragraph. It also reminds you to have an introduction, the main body of the paper and a conclusion.
I find that in my writing I have a hard time tying my paragraphs together. I sometimes make the mistake of introducing new material in the wrong place. I know that when writing a paper you are suppose to state your point, give evidence that supports that point and then remind the reader of your point and perhaps give them something else to consider on the subject in the conclusion. The middle is where it gets mixed up for me. I think the outline approach may be the way for me to go in the future.

The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me Dialogue

The Joy of Reading and Writing: “Superman and Me” Dialogue

Reading “Superman and Me” reminded me of the value of an education, something we often take for granted. I mean an education of any type, for it will open the door to a world you can live in. For some it is book learning, a formal education, for others it is occupational training and for most it is a way of learning the rights and wrongs that life presents. We learn the ways of our society at school as well as how to read and write. For Sherman Alexie society had taught him that Indians, as well as other minorities, are expected to be stupid if not invisible. He decided to take a stand and fight this stereotype. He said “I refuse to fail. I was smart. I was arrogant. I was lucky.” He reached beyond the accepted and fought for an education. Today he is fighting for other Indian children especially the ones who are turning away from getting an education. Sherman stated that some children thrive under his guidance but for every child that accepts an education as a way to a better life there is a child that has already let society crush their hopes and dreams. It would seem that those children who are turning away are the ones who need the most help, the encouragement to read and learn the wonder that is our world. They need to open their minds and express the greatness that is inside each of them. Sherman Alexie saved his life by refusing to give up or give in to what society labeled him as. He would not accept that he was supposed to be a stupid Indian. He reached out and grabbed the world with both hands and is now trying to share his path with other Indian children.

Chapter 46 Writing Topics: Rules for Writers

Chapter 46 Writing Topic: Rules for Writers

Reading this chapter I found it included the basic guidelines for active reading. These included deciding on what kind of text you are reading, on looking for contradictions and inconsistencies, on rereading while making note of the central ideas. Questions to ask while reading include what is the authors' purpose, who the author is writing for, what questions the writer is answering and how these answers are supported.
In writing a summary you might want to start with making an outline of your reading. An outline is used to sum up central points. Included in your outline will be the main idea and key points. Analyzing looks at how the text makes the point it wants to get across. It is the writers’ judgment about the text, their point of view.
Examples are given for written texts and visual texts. Different types of texts for different subjects need to be looked at in different ways. Summaries and outlines are an effective way to look at written and visual texts in all disciplines.
This was a good review for me on the technique of outlining materials. I often forget to pay attention to the topic sentences but, instead look at the body of the paragraphs. In the future I will make sure I note the thesis of the written text and each topic sentence given, especially those leading to a shift into a new topic. This will help me understand the text as a whole.

Freewriting Exercise: Dialougue

Freewriting Exercise: Dialogue

A freewrite is a collection of the writers’ thoughts on a topic. It does not depend on grammar or spelling but, on connections and ideas. It is like being able to speak one’s mind without worrying about consequences. Freewrites can facilitate stronger writing because; they are an expression of thoughts without self editing. They allow the writer to look at all sides of a topic including silly thoughts, incomplete thoughts and disconnected thoughts. I use a type of freewriting I call webbing. It is a brainstorming exercise that I find lets me incorporate all my thoughts on a subject, link them together and trim out the ones not important to the subject matter I am trying to convey.
I know self editing is my worse enemy. Often I will change the words I am using because of spelling. Substituting common words leads to the loss of power in the messages I am trying to send. The text reminded me that I do a lot of crossing out and rethinking while I attempt to write. I need to remember to start with a main message, and then formulate the introduction and the conclusion. I think I will continue to try and use some type of freewrite when I am researching a main message. We are often taught to think before we speak, freewrites tell us write first then think about what we have said.

Introduction Dialogue

Hi everyone I am BetteJo. I was born and raised in Napa, moved to Humboldt County and spent 23 years there raising a family. I reentered the work force at the age of 46 with just a high school education. While working at a special needs school I was encouraged to go to college. I spent four years getting my AA degree while working with children of different ages and abilities. Five years ago I moved to Rohnert Park and began working in the 3rd grade at a private school. My second year there I was made supervisor of the pre school extended care program.
During the course of my job I correspond with teachers, parents and other childcare agencies. While doing so I feel my English skills need brushing up, grammar was never my strong suit. I want to send bold positive letters filled with confidence knowing that they are correct in content. This is what I am hoping to gain from this class. I would also like to return to the classroom, working with special needs children, instead of supervising adults while they work with the children.
I am striving to communicate more effectively with co-workers, parents and other agencies that help with early intervention. I like to organize my work week early, I am a list maker, so that there is time for reflection and rewriting if needed.