Essay 1 Rough Draft

Image Essay


Football is a national past time. It is portrayed in almost every medium. I would not consider myself a football fan and this is not a football story. I look at this picture of two of my grandsons, Austin who is eleven and Bailey who is nine and I see hope for the future. Yes they are good looking boys but, to see them on the football field together means so much more to me. When I look at this picture I see a second generation of a family brought back together by hope, faith and love. For me football is a story about family, friendship, hardship, grief and renewed hope. For you to understand what this picture means to me we will need to go back to the beginning.
I was born and raised in Napa, a military family of four girls, we did not watch football. In 1975 I took a vacation to see the Redwoods. While there I met my husband we were married later that year. At the time he had a five year old son, Dan, and I had a one year old son Morgan. Over the next four years my husband and I added two more sons to our family, James and Stephen. My husband was an avid Cowboys fan and the boys grew up exposed to sports of all types especially football. I was the mother of in a household of five males. I used the time they watched football with their father to pursue other interests. We lived in McKinleyville which is located in Humboldt County. McKinleyville was a small town; it was by passed by Highway 101 and was not considered a tourist stop. When I moved there there were only two traffic lights, no large stores or fast food chains where built until the mid 80’s. We lived on the main street of town and it was common to watch horses being ridden down the street as well as cars. Everyone knew each other. Children went to the same schools as their siblings and their friends advanced year to year with them. As a stay at home mom our home was often the stopping point after school for those boys who had working moms.
When my boys were teenagers three of them became part of the towns’ high school football team. Even before school resumed for the year practice started. Practice consumed many hours of the days leading up to school starting and continued to fill their afternoon hours. Our home revolved around their schedules, playbooks and strategy meetings. These practices cumulated into Friday night games, homecoming parades and numerous celebrations. It did not matter so much if they won or lost it was football a time of bonding. It was a time to give it your all, to come off the field covered with dirt and grime, and to learn rules that would continue to guide their lives forever. Friendships were formed that would last many years. To be on the team and wear the letterman jackets was a big thing in our small town. They were a group looked up to by other students. One for all and all for one during the fall of the year there was nothing better than being a part of the team.
It was during this time that my husband grew ill. He struggled for many years but, was able to attend many of their home games. As his health worsened it was not unusual for a group of boys to come home with my sons after games and fill him in on all the details. In 1998 my husband passed away. This was a hard time for us. My youngest son, Stephen was just eighteen and planning his wedding. His older brother Morgan, my middle son was expecting his first child. The family was crushed we did not know how to continue with our lives. My oldest son Dan pulled away from the family. He was angry and expressed that he never felt like part of our family, he felt as if he was an outsider. I had no idea he had these types of feelings, I had always felt like his mother in every way. Hurt and confused I let him slip away. Soon after he divorced his wife, left his family and remarried. Dan stopped communicating with us all, including his children from his first marriage. It was at this time that his son Bailey was born.
The family did not see much of Bailey or Dan. As families do in times of stress we grouped together and went on. Attempts to include Dan or even communicate with him were filled with confrontation and anger. Things were said that created big wholes in our family. Things which can be forgiven but, are much harder to forget. It was as if losing my husband, their father broke the link that joined us together as a family. Thinking there would be time for things to change attempts for a reconnection grew few and far between. Holidays and birthdays became cards we exchanged with Dan not celebrations we shared. Phone calls were rare and often strained, no one wanting to step on the others toes. In 2008 my son Dan ended his life. Words could not convey the way we felt as a family. The time we were sure we had plenty of ran out. Feelings ran high regret because we thought we had more time, guilt for not reaching out, sorrow because nothing could change the fact that he was gone. For me there was also the fact that I had promised his father that I would keep Dan close to his family. I had failed.
Slowly as a family we began to regroup. Kristen, Baileys mother wanted him to know his fathers family. There was hope a hand reached our even hesitantly is a chance for a new beginning. Slowly we began to communicate, not talking about the past but, all acknowledging our part in the past. Words can not be unsaid and what has happened in the past is done the lesson here was to move forward as a family. My son James encouraged his brother Stephen, who never played group sports after the age of ten to coach youth football last year. This year Austin is on James’s Arcata team and Bailey is on Stephen’s Eureka team. Dan and Stephen never had a chance to repair the damage done to their relationship as brothers by now Stephen has a real chance to build a relationship with Bailey his brothers’ son.
This picture of the boys at their football jamboree fills me with hope, pride and love. It reminds me of the growth of our family, through childhood, the loss of my husband and how it affected us all, the senseless death of my son and the rebuilding of our family. It is a testament that life can change at any second and to the fact that if we are lucky for every ending there is a new beginning. Here are two boys on different teams bonding over the sport of football. This picture brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. It reminds me that for any ending there is a beginning if we are lucky enough to find it. For a lot of children football helps them to learn to be part of a team. An important lesson because, life is much more fulfilling played is a team game.